This is an ongoing US and global project to help enthusiasts, scholars, practitioners, and curious parties learn more about shamanic living in a contemporary culture. The space here is devoted to sharing info, experiences and opinions about all forms of shamanic expression covering shamanism's multiple permutations. Among subjects explored are traditions, techniques, insights, definitions, events, artists, authors, and creativity. You are invited to draw from your own experiences and contribute.

What is a SHAMAN?

MAYAN: "a technichian of the Holy, a lover of the Sacred." CELTIC: "Empower the people...by changing the way we think." MEXICAN APACHE: "Someone who has simply learned to give freely of themselves..." AUSTRALIAN ABORIGINAL: "...a teacher or healer, a wisdom keeper of knowledge... (who) takes people to a door and encourages them to enter." W. AFRICAN DIAGRA: "views every event in life within a spiritual context." HAWAIIAN: "...human bridges to the spiritual world and its laws and the material world and its trials..." QUECHUA INDIAN: "embodies all experience." AMAZON: "...willing to engage the forces of the Universe...in a beneficial end for self, people, and for life in general."

-- from Travelers, Magicians and Shamans (Danny Paradise)

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

What a Year Can Bring

I entered this apprenticeship with the idea of spending much, if not most, of my non-work time studying, as I realized that it was a rare opportunity. I did not plan on my mental illness kicking up to a new phase. I knew that I was frequently depressed, and that medications helped; what I had not seen was that I cycle within the depressive phase and that the cycling itself is very debilitating. One moment everything is fine, the next for no reason I'm in the absolute pits of existence and questioning whethe it's worth it. No reson, no logic, just whammy. With the new understanding - new meds. Lifestyle changes can't deal iwth this one. With the new meds - new side effects; I'll spare you the details, they're nasty and debilitating. With meds and side feects, my resolve and abilities went out the window. BUT, life happens. For me certainly, I should have known that life wouldn't stop for the program, and that what counts ultimately is that I'm learning despite the pains, fungi, mood swings, lapses of judgment, impulsiveness, etc. I may not be following Robin through the jungle, but I've got my own jungle in my head, and the struggle makes what I learn all the sweeter.


Night Sings said...

As our dear Rainbow Warrior would put it, "Shift Happens." These are just shifts that are rising up in intensity-- fires of calcination have been roaring for all of us this year, I'm pretty sure in one way or another. Love and courage to you for being aware and working with and through the darkness.

Heart of The Mother said...

Hence the name Fearless Woman !

Still Waters said...

Is it possible that what you're running into is the pain/confusion that you're taking from those you help? Sometimes our path has us dealing with things that those who come to us can not. this can manifest itself in many ways.. Maybe we can help find a way for you to offload the energies that you might be picking up from others?

Allowing the light said...

For having gone myself to hell... and back (!), to heaven... and back (!) several times for the last few months (and even weeks), I truly understand how hard it must be. Hang out there! In a few occasions, we are also able to look at the whole picture (both hell AND heaven) at the meantime, just from a different perspective (and then they are no longer hell and heaven, of course)... and this is true too. So keep going and know that we are here for you if you need anything. Mother earth is here too and can help you keep grounded and keeping some energy.
A big hug!