Powerful Videos For Discussion

On Assemblage Point, starts slow, but gets very clear!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_DgRkNZBGA&feature=related

Habits, and Assemblage Point (sounds like he is on drugs, but interesting thoughts just the same!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N30BsvBYykM

Lucid Dream
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nux2e7SDofU

Fighting the gods of death...searching for his soul
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uyUCO3JFBE&feature=related
and fighting for the soul of the shaman in America
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3VwfGzYH-8&feature=related

Healing shamanically my own body & retrieving energy

Burn out —Here I was again, I could recognize the signals; the message my body was sending to me was crystal clear. Last Wednesday night, during our conference call, I was in so much physical pain that I could barely follow the conversation. My eyes were closed. I tried to survive the horrible headaches that had been torturing me for two days. My lower back was totally blocked; I could barely walk.

It had started the previous Friday. I had arrived at our gathering on Saturday morning totally exhausted. Then I had spent most of the WE in another reality, terribly alert and present, but in-between two worlds to say the least. My back pain had disappeared. I was tired but thoroughly happy. I felt deeply moved, as if something deep had started shifted that I could not express. Then Monday came. 15 hour-work day. On Tuesday, my back was badly hearting again. On Wednesday, I could no longer move.

So here I was, Wednesday night. After our conference call was done, I decided to try a relaxation / visualization / journey… I was not exactly sure. Robin had advised me to talk to my muscles so I was ready to do that. As soon as I started, I knew that the shaman in me had taken control of the situation. Part of my body was elevated – a layer of it, I am not sure – but I could feel and see another part (inert and very heavy, unable to move) on the bed. I called the tree spirits and they elegantly reached out with their branches, enveloping my body as if they were loving arms. Thanks guys! Then a shaman started the healing, smudging, breathing, sucking up and spiting out the pain, waving leaves around, putting stones on my body, hands on… all those things that I have started developing step by step in my first healing sessions with the people who have started to come to me. And I had no doubt: that shaman was me. I was healing my own body or the interior of the envelope which had been elevated and I was also that third entity that was still lying on my bed! When I realized what was going on, I told my mind that if she had any comment, she would be welcome to make them afterwards and, poor thing, she kept quite.

I have no idea how long this lasted but when I stood up, not only I could walk normally but I could no longer feel any pain on my back and in my head! The next few days, I continued to work an average of 12-hour a day on a laptop – not the wisest thing to do but I don’t really have a choice here. So some pain came back and I felt more tensions in my higher back than I usually do but I have been able to continue functioning with very limited pain and it is now almost entirely gone. I even bike to the office. At night, before going to sleep, I give my body a small healing, putting some leaves on my lower back and it helps – note that in the “real” world, I don’t do any of that, it is still only “imagination” or “vizualization” but it works!

The last time I had a similar episode with my lower back (last July), I was blocked on my bed for three days, unable to move and it had taken two different persons to work on my body with different techniques for several days! The people who saw me at pain with my back last week and have known about my previous episode have asked me for the name of the miraculous doctor who has healed me so fast!

Retrieving energy –

That same Wednesday night, during the conference call, Robin talked about what she called – if I am not mistaken – energy retrieval. So, after the healing séance, after 1/3 of my body had re-integrated the portion that was lying on my bed and the shaman (the other 1/3 part) had got back in me, I visualized one piece of the non-physical stuff that my blocked back was telling me about. I placed it on my left side and, following what I remembered of Robin’s explanations, I followed it while it slowly moved in a half circle to my left, behind me and then to my right (I don’t remember if, in Robin’s story, the half circle was passing in front of her or behind her but that’s the way it happened with me). I must say that I did not move it myself. I had to wait for it to move at its own pace and I just followed very attentively. An interesting component of what happened also is that before the “thing” (the situation I was visualizing) started moving, my body got elevated again. But that time, it was not as if a part of my body was elevated and I could see an inanimate part of it on the bed, the whole “me” got elevated. When the process was done, my body was gently put down again on the bed (I would never forget the sensation, they did it so gently!). It is too soon for me to say anything about what has “really” changed in the situation I have visualized. But there are certainly signs of change and I know that something has shifted in my way of approaching it.

So… that same night, I decided that the last component on which I had to work (it was also among the assignments given by my dear teacher!) was: how to shapeshift time! A few weeks before, I had had to shamanically open doors to transform an “impossible job” into a “possible one” (at least I had tried to do something and it had worked: there had been substantial transformations, some of them quite unpredictable). Now, how was I supposed to shapeshift time? Believe it or not, the first image that came to me was an enormous clock and I bravely started to extend the distance between the minutes marked on the clock dial (in my imagination, I was a very little character climbing the enormous clock!). If it has changed anything, it is my perception of time. No doubt about it. I still work a lot but my productivity has been rising (so hopefully I will be able to progressively reduce my working hours) and, even more important, during my four days at work, I am now able to take a real good break to make sure that I am still connected, to take some fresh air and look at the trees... even though it seems crazy if I look at what I still have to do before the end of the day. My “rational” mind would say that I am doing exactly the opposite of what I should do in such circumstances: work-work! During the three other days of the week, I have been able again to create time when I don’t “do” anything; something I was really missing.

So… I took one of the books of Hafiz poems that I have and it opened on these lines:

The body a tree.
God a wind.

When He moves me like this,
Like this,

Angels bump heads with each other
Gathering beneath my cheeks,
Holding their wine
Barrels

Catching the brilliant tear,
Pearl

Rain.

Checking Your Baggage

I brought more than I thought I had to this Apprenticeship program. Reading Mutant Message Down Under made it apparent to me. I knew from my earlier acquaintence with thiws work that it was controversial and that the author had been discredited in her claim that the events depicted had actually taken place. I was prepared to scoff at the book, and so I did. . . until my guides started talking to me while I was driving, until they insisted that I only wear black, until they made pithy comments on my diet, and made their own demands in that area - only because my health was affected by my weight. I work in a mental health clinic, and you can bet that people notice changes - what am I supposed to say . . . "the voices told me to do this"? I'd be either fired or committed on the spot! I kn ow where I got my demand for "truth", but it's part of my history now, an old story. How do I know that the autor was not faced with the same dilemna? It matters most that she had truths to tello. Did she journey, did she channel, did her guides grab her on the road too? Look for the message and judge by that.

Was there an Emerald tablet? Was there a mummified Hermes? I could care less. I know that this is ancient wisdom that shaped the European, Asian, and Indian mystical traditions. That's what counts.

Now, I look at what I bring to a book. If it prevents me from judging it on its own merits, if it keeps me from finding and appreciating what is true (without too open a mind, so my brains don't fall out, the n I look for my story, and leave it there before page one.

Deep Purple

Bleeding deep within.
Ripping the gut to pieces.
Internal pain releases.
Fear begins to speak.

Washed away in tears.
Lifted toward the light of life.
A new voice is heard.

I am FREE...
I am INFINITY.....

This excerpt is from my new mini-book, "A Woman’s Beauty:
The Beauty Of The Downward Spiral" and it speaks to the stages of alchemy as in The Emerald Tablet

The sweat lodge is crammed full. Maybe you could get one or two more into the small dome, but I’m not sure how. The large, red-hot stones come in on a pitchfork, passing close enough to frighten. One slip of the wrist, one stumble, and flesh would burn. It has never happened, at least not in any sweats I’ve been a part of. But it could, and you know it. It grows a sense of respect and awe—sentiments just right for ridding yourself of yourself and connecting to Something More.

The flap is closed and all light is shut out. Chanting begins, a high-pitched and whining sound-song. Truthfully, I could do without this. I prefer silence, having sensitive ears, but it is not my call. I submit to this, as I will to the heat.

Time passes. Water is repeatedly poured onto the rocks. The steam rises, again and again, filling the lodge with holy water. It is not holy because of the religion or ritual of it, but because it is so raw. Earth’s rocks, steeped in fire, baptized in water, rising on air. Back to the basics of creation.

It Gets Hot

Really, really hot. My body rocks back and forth gently, as if I innately recall the pulse of the mother, being in her womb. I’m comforted by something I don’t understand. Fortunately, I’m in a process where I don’t feel the need to.

Before long, the moist heat has my full attention. Sweat rolls down me as if being poured onto me, not coming from within. But it is from within. I imagine the Wicked Witch of the West—the caricature culmination of my smallest desires and assumed needs—is melting.

When the intensity finally breaks me, I lower my head closer to the earth. It’s cooler, clearer, more free down here. My lungs expand fully in gratitude for what, on most days, I take completely for granted—air.

This is the beauty of the downward spiral: Forced closer to the hot rocks in the pit, yet further from the high steam, I get up close and personal with the elements. I am shoved smack into my humanity, and, at the same time, relieved of it.

Bidden Or Unbidden

The downward spiral never looks pretty, but its beauty is unmatched. Whether invited, through such ritual as a sweat lodge, or uninvited and arriving by terrible circumstance (death, divorce, illness, handicap—the list is endless), the result is the same. We are forced to the ground, to the earth which offers clarity, to remember what is simple in order to survive.
Released of all things we cling to but don’t really need, we come to our core beauty. We hear the pulse of what is true for us. We rock ourselves into other worlds, thus expanding what we thought were our limits. We encounter our own personal Wicked Witches, and we watch them melt away.

My Downward Spiral

I have been through this ritual many times in my life. In the beginning, it was circumstance-induced. Only later would I welcome it.

Five years old seems too young to begin the downward decent, but it was then that it began for me. My favorite teenage babysitter was pushed out a car and killed on her graduation night. I went to the funeral home, not wanting to be left behind with a new sitter, yet having no idea of what I was getting into. Maybe others didn’t see all the dead spirits flying around the room, but I did. Terrified and crying out too long into the night, I was finally told by my ever-exhausted mother to shut up. Though she lived another thirty years, I mark that night as the night I lost her, too.

Nine years old also seems to young to slide down the spiral, but in that year a double blast grabbed me by the life force and sucked me down farther than I can tell. Nelle, my best friend in the neighborhood, and the greatest companion of my heart, died suddenly of Leukemia. I had not been warned.

Then JoAnn, my “new best friend” from the same block, died less than a month later during an emergency appendectomy. The night of her death started as a plan to sleep over at my house. She left early because she was not feeling well. For me, what began as a simple stomach ache became cause for deep contemplation.

I might have been young, but I was reasonably smart. A teenage babysitter and two young girls on one block dead, with me as common denominator. Add to that the fact that, so far as I knew, I was the only one with the “gift” of seeing dead spirits, and it is not hard to see how I came to the conclusion that I must have had the power of magical killing. And that the people I loved most were at the highest risk.

Down We Go

Fifteen is still too young for dark initiations, at least in my way of thinking. But the spiral continued when my father was arrested for sleeping with teenage boys and girls (fortunately, not me), thus making me the only kid in town with a jailbird-public-freak-sex-maniac-on-the-front-page-of-the-newspaper dad. But that was little compared to his early death only a few years later. He was my father, after all.

Yet that, too, came to seem small compared to the death of my younger brother (who had not escaped my father’s sexual attention) two years later. Ricky, the only living soul-companion who truly knew and loved me, shot himself for fear he was gay and would be a man like our father. That spiral had me buckling at the knees in an instant. It would be five years before I could speak Ricky’s name without a thick, hard swelling in my throat.

I Could Go On, But I Won’t

Suffice to say the refuge I sought in a “normal God-fearing life” with a husband, two children, a nice house, and church every week didn’t begin touch the pain within. I was labeled manic depressive, put on drugs that could never have relieved the heart of my ills, and felt myself a complete outsider in any social situation. That life lasted ten years, and when it ended, I had no job, a certifiable mental condition, and only half-time custody of my children. Being unable to see my children on the off-weeks unless I snuck into the school lunch room was a pain I can never describe. But in the end, the weeks alone were useful.

As I believe always happens if you really stick with things, the tide did eventually turn. At the very bottom of the spiral, I awakened to a spirituality that was nothing short of sucking beautiful clear air at the earth floor during a full-fledged, five-alarm fire. With every outward beauty taken, and the many years of internal crushing, something of a diamond began to form inside of me.

I Took The Time I Was Given

Though I hated my force-fed solitude, I used it to search for that diamond. When I found it, I excavated it. I polished it. I sought to understand it. Most important, I loved it. Eventually, I did what seemed to me to be the impossible—I came to love and trust myself and my life. Even the downward spirals. As a result, the manic depression, which the experts assured me was inherited and thus would need lifelong medication and management, was healed.

And so the Phoenix did rise again, as promised. But with her came stuff. Ideas about who I had become, who I was meant to be, and how I might change the world. Lofty ideas, and not all of them divinely inspired. New kinds of books and icons filled the shelves, and then clothes and furniture and new cars and new houses and new insurance premiums and, well… stuff.

Soon enough, I began to miss that whistle-clean feeling of having nothing to hold onto, and so nothing to take hold of me. At first, I made it a regular practice to clean out my closets and give away anything I could. I also got rid of people—anyone who professed family and friendship but did not support my highest and best interest. (This was not so easy, as people are harder to give to good will. But if you are firm, holding to your true self-esteem and not playing into their lack of it, they often go of their own accord.)

Then, even later, things began to accumulate beyond the possibility of a regular pitch and toss. You see, the children came back full-time in their teen years, and then a wonderful new partner arrived with his two young adult children—oh beautiful, wonderful, crowded, messy joy! So I did the only thing I could do. I began to learn to live clean and clear even when the house wasn’t sparse and the friends and family weren’t always ideally supportive.

I began to go to sweat lodges and undergo other rituals that clean and clear from the inside. They helped me keep my own personal version of “close to the earth” going within, especially when the outer world blew the heat full blast and chaos came to fan the flame. In short, I learned to find beauty in the chaos, as well as beyond it. And I learned how to offer it to others. The killer-magic that I feared was within me as a child turned to an opportunity to offer others life-affirming healing through “magical” means. A shaman was born.

Don’t Get Me Wrong

I’m not saying I like the life-induced downward spiral. I’m not wishing another round of it for myself, thank you, or anyone else. What I am saying is that when it comes, it is not a mistake, and it is not only the ugly, festering boil it first appears to be. It is, in fact, the path by which all saints come to their sainthood and shamans to their healing gifts. It is the alchemical process that turns base metal into gold and ego into spirit. It is inherently beautiful because the seed of the beauty it brings lies waiting in the very depths it takes you to.

You don’t have to take my word for it. Just take a look at the alchemists who have followed such a process with the same results, time and again. The mysterious Emerald Tablet explains it all, though it appears impossible to understand. Let me take a crack at reviewing the basics as best I know them, and if you want to know more, I suggest visiting Alchemylab.com, or reading The Emerald Tablet by Dennis Hauck.
And remember, in this series of articles we are invoking a shapeshift in the very areas that we cover. In other words, something of an alchemical transformation can begin and be furthered within you simply by reading about the stages, even if you don’t fully understand them. Your imagination and your willingness to allow for a shift—far more than your doing something—is the key.

The Alchemical Process

With processes that include labels such as “Dissolution,” “Separation,” and “Fermentation,” it is clear that alchemy is not for the faint of heart. But the promise of turning base metals into gold and freeing the ego and soul longings to embrace a pure spirit is not something to quickly toss aside.
It also doesn’t hurt that, in understanding the process of alchemy, you’ll finally realize there is a reason for the Dark Night Of The Soul experience.
If you are anything like me, you will be relieved that there is even a possibility of there being a reason for it. You will also enjoy the possibility that, as alchemy also proposes, being depressed can actually be evidence of entering an advanced stage of the process.

So, you start with the base metal. Now add fire, and so begins the process of Calcination. In psychological terms, you take the infantile ego who has barely a spark of divine spirit within, and then you burn down the house. All goes to ash. You can set the fire yourself, or simply wait for the ravages of life to get you. Either way, it is the process by which you loose your ten levels of self-deception (twenty, in some of us). Things are what they are. You are what you are—ash, and maybe a smoldering ember or two.

Next, Dissolve With Water

Lots of water. Like a tsunami or a levy-breaking flood. This is the stage of Dissolution. You are a basket case, as abandoned as Moses set down the river. The mother-moon energy floods your emotions and breaks down your rational structures (this can’t be happening...) and all your previously secure belief systems (why doesn’t God save me?...I thought if I would just be a good girl it would all turn out all right…). To progress, you simply need to realize things can change. More important, you can change. There is an ocean of possibilities. Grab a raft, if only in your imagination, and hold on.

After fire and water, the stage of Separation comes through the element of air. Basically, you get space—alone time, and lots of it. Maybe you left the people in your life, or maybe you were left. Or maybe you’re still there, but it is as if you are not. Maybe you are stuck in a job (or marriage) where you don’t connect, so you might as well be alone.

Whatever the case, you can no longer turn to others. You ask yourself what serves your highest purposes and what doesn’t. You figure out who you are, not who you are after everyone else’s suggestions have been followed and demands have been met. You review your habits and patterns and make changes where needed. It can be a lonely stage, but with time, it turns lovely. I can vouch for this.

Next, you bring in the earth element for the stage of Conjunction. Here, you figure out what is in sync within you, and what isn’t. This is the reuniting of the archetypal masculine and feminine that brings balance. The drive of the masculine forces within that strive for a linear path to greater illumination of truth and beauty join with the feminine forces, which are more interested in living through stories, an earthy lifestyle, and taking a round-about path. No longer tied to convention, you are centered as the creative ideas formed in the air get mixed with the down-to-earth practicalities and put into action.

Beyond The Four Earth Elements

The next step takes you to Fermentation, starting with the process of putrefaction. Sorry, but it is as bad as it sounds. Think composting—rotting, digesting, decomposing—and just when you thought you had gotten your conjunction together! It’s a festering black stage where you can’t ever get comfortable because you’re swimming in your own shit. That may sound harsh, but anyone who has actually been through the Dark Night Of The Soul depression knows I’m really calling a spade a cute little bunny rabbit. There are no words to do it justice. It feels endless. Even hell, you think, might be a relief. Truth is, here is where you not only want to die, you think you really might.

But wait—a really wonderful, surprising, amazing thing begins to happen if you stick with it (not that you have another living, breathing choice). When following the physical process of alchemy, you start to see an iridescent peacock’s tail begins to form on the surface of the oozing black. In psychological terms, you discover a beauty being formed in your deepest, truest self. It is nothing like you have ever felt. Something new has been created, though you don’t yet understand it.

The alchemists call it Pure Imagination. All you know is that you are not who you were, and you’re beginning to suspect you might become even more than you thought you ever could. I like to think of it as the diamond I spoke of finding within myself, shooting off glints of light from within the core of darkness. This Pure Imagination is what brings new life to dead, decaying matter. It is the process by which you develop your inner genius—that heavenly inspiration that burns steadily within.

Where The Magic Is

The next stage is Distillation—that bootleg process that turns ordinary stuff into magical “spirits.” It is a process of purification that allows the human to get out of the way of the Divine. It is also there to craft us in such a way that the Divine experiences don’t overwhelm us (and trust me, they can). The process, repeated again and again, is infused by the Divine Perspective, and so clears away more and more of the base emotions and ego identity. A more pure substance is found as the soul is released from matter. Now that you are really getting somewhere, you are more content to just be where you are.

Finally, we reach Coagulation. The glorious final prize. The Phoenix rising. (By the way, please do not interpret my earlier comment about the Phoenix rising in my life to mean I’m claiming to be fully cooked—life comes in cycles!) The base metal becomes gold, the body is made spiritual and the spirit becomes tangible. Miracles become commonplace. Heaven and earth are transcended, which means you can walk in both worlds with ease. On a daily basis, peace of mind is normal and heightened energy is readily available. You walk your given path fully capable of whatever it throws at you. In short, you become the clean, clear, pure air you used to have to put your face close to the earth to find.

That, my friends, is the beauty of the downward spiral.

Your ShapeShift

As you go through your days and the chaos swirls about you, imagine yourself in a sweat lodge. Imagine that you have chosen this pressure cooker for your personal transformation, because when you believe you have chosen a situation on a Divine level, it is always more bearable. Then imagine placing your head (your mind and thoughts) low to the ground. They are nearer to the actual fire, yet fall below the highly pressured and steamy heat. Breathe in the cool, clear, clean air near the earth surface. Feel gratitude for the simple things, and see all the unimportant “stuff” of your life fall away, like droplets of sweat being released and reabsorbed by the earth. Go about your day imagining that some part of you has continual access to this divine clarity and that the transformation you seek is already in process.

(free use by permission only, write Robin@bewhoyouare.com.

Flying in September Sunrise

First their cry in the silence
Then the sound of their fly in the first light
Were they leaving? Were they flying back?
I forgot the seasons
Thousand of miles, thousand of years
The same road ever, the same rite
Every year
Guided by Faith & Life
Thousand of miles, thousand of years ago
I was there too

First my smile at their presence
Then my tears, the light touch of a wing on my cheek
Now I remembered: I also used to fly
Sailing through sunrise
A long time I cried, could not even tell why
Then I opened my eyes, time had stopped again
Together side by side we were
Immobile in the air
Contemplating the earth, mountains and forests
Gently passing by

Fly away my soul
The doors have opened
Darkness has lead to light
Light’s embraced the night

Vole mon âme
Nuit et lumière ont rendu les armes
L’horizon s’ouvre enfin
Pars là d’où tu viens, là où tu es et seras demain

Going Forward

                                                             growth takes on the new

                                                     yellow sunshine births forth now

                                                              in this moment joy

Poetry Assignment

The osprey are back
Flying with twigs in their beaks
Bringing Spring with them

News....

Dear Tribe~

I wanted to share with you that "She Who Remembers" lost her father last night. In some ways, it is a relief, as he was not a kind father, and now she can move on. In other ways it brings great grief, for all that never was, and now can never be. Let's keep her in our thoughts as she moves through this important, sacred, and confusing time, emerging all the more in her powerful shamanic identity.

I also wanted to let you all know that today I spent five hours in a sweat lodge, praying for each member of the tribe. As I prayed to Great Spirit, if I am going to make you all sweat, the least I can do is sweat myself! So feel the prayers, and let many of them drift off to She Who Remembers.

Hugs, Walks In Two Worlds

Walking Up the Hill, Between Two Worlds

As the awareness lense seems to clear, I am fascinated by the presentations of standing between the Ordinary and Non-Ordinary worlds. Time/no time, inside/outside, and stillness/movement within are several unfoldings that I have experienced at a deeper level, in the last week. Last evening, when walking the fairly steep, long hill from the car to the house, I felt I was existing in several worlds at once...I was walking and could fell the muscles contracting in my legs (the body WAS moving forward kinesthetically), but it was if I was walking in place (tactially outside of my body, all was still with no movement = my body was not moving the space around me). I sensed I was remaining in the same spot, with body movement but was not going forward up the hill. It was as if in freeze frame of the physical world and at the same moment, time around me stood very still - though, I was engaging the mind with processing the experience.
Now I realize this is the space I have been drawn to during experiencing the black and white dimensions, though very important to immerse into them both, now the grey space is now opening to give a deeper merge into process of the universe within and the outer universe.

Enjoy (In Joy) !
AWR

G.O.D. - According to Yogi Bhajan

At the top of the Ladder of BEing there exists only pure consciousness - the One, or G.O.D. (That force which is always Generating, Organizing, and Destroying).

"God is not living on the seventh story, and no lift goes to Him. God is you. He is your expression. He is your identity in existence. That is why God is everywhere. Because wherever you are, God is. Because wherever you generate, organize, and destroy, it is a fraction of the same that is already prevailing in the universal human. Therefore, we can conclude that the human is the image, or the finite activity, of the universal activity in operation." Yogi Bhajan, The Teachings of Yogi Bhajan.

(G.O.D. is also referred to as the One who Generates, Organizes, and Destroys or Delivers)

On a personal note, I was quickly drawn to this reading at the conclusion of our conference call.

Shamanic Living: Apprenticeship '08: Does An Apprentice Require More Sleep?

Shamanic Living: Apprenticeship '08: Does An Apprentice Require More Sleep?

Poetry Assignment

The solar burn's descent reveals an open range
Something new's begun to walk
Spirit is its form
A stranger in a gateway
Tears a purple door into the heavens of my seeing
Clean away
The space above the graphite plain horizon
Meet the Shepherd of my soul
Clear through
Before darkness enfolds
I am unfolding wings of orange purple rays of setting sun
I display this divine place beyond the highest peak born well before the earth was young
Why did I forgot this portal into space and symmetry and time?
Tommorow
Years...and years...and years gone by

I've never known or tried to climb these mountains in the sky

Never reached the point where I wanted or knew how to fly

There

Where astral vista vantage points

Appear to me and draw me out and give me shape

The prisoner has escaped
Now closer to the summit than the slammer
I tried to capture shrinking sihouettes
And return them to their stature
Herd together all the earthly and transparent pieces shattered, scattered

The Veil

“How deliciously, wonderfully, bizarre and different”! Said the old woman in the red hat as her lunch companions dissolved into the morning mist of the marsh and she became the morning sun.

She Believed That She Could, So She Did.

Recently, I purchased a book mark that held the statement: "She believed that She could, so She did”. I found it to be the perfect book mark for me. It began a thought process in regard to how powerful the belief system can be. How the impossible can suddenly seem possible if one is able to break down the walls that separate that which is perceived to be real and unreal; Especially, in the sense of utilizing visualization , imagination and journeying to effect change in one’s life.

When I journey I am able to do things that I perceive are impossible in my physical reality. The super hero I once knew within myself as a child comes alive. I can fly and everything is possible. I go into my journeys with the intent of building on my faith that my experiences are “real” and are being led by spirit; that they truly can effect change or bring truthful insight into my life and for those for whom I journey. However, my egoic mind always pipes in with the questions - Is this just fantasy? Is it real? Will this truly effect change? Is this information valuable? For now, while I am still training and do not have a lot of experiences under my belt, I am building on faith and the experience of my teacher and others that have walked this path that says YES! I have decided to take on the concept of "She believed that She could, so She did”.

However, I was still having difficulty coming up with an answer for those who asked me the question: "How do you know that it is not just your imagination?" I did some research and found this great article which I found helpful to me on www.shamans-cave.com. Perhaps it would be helpful to you as well.

Creating Reality Through Visualization
The Shamanic OtherWorld Perspective

To the trained Shaman, experience is experience. There is no difference between the reality of one experience over another. If I experienced it, then it must be real. I may not at this moment understand what I have experienced, but that does not make it any less real. Shamans frequently travel into worlds well beyond logical or even conceptual reality. Shamans, using Spirit Journeys, travel through other realms by means of what traditional Western society would classically term imagination, to achieve the object of their quest, be it hidden knowledge, power, a spirit animal, or the soul fragment of a current patient. A Shaman knows that these spirit journeys are more than just idle fancy or an over-active imagination. The shaman's thoughts and feelings are literally forms of energy, a spirit double if you will, that travel to very specific locations on the Web of Power.

So what is the difference between Shamanic Sight, Visualization and Imagination? Let's begin with, what is Visualization? Visualization can be compared to a movie running through your mind, and you are the director. You choose the script, you choose the characters, you choose the location. Visualization is accomplished through the medium of your imagination. Imagination is thought form generated by the mind that allows you to project yourself beyond the bounds of current time and space, and experience beyond your normal senses. However, once you learn to use the tool of visualization effectively, the results become far to tangible to be a thought form without substance.

Visualization is connected to the subconscious mind (Lower Self), which interfaces with the Higher Self and the World of Spirit. The Subconscious speaks to our conscious (Middle) self through signs, symbols, pictures, dreams, etc. - or in other words, visualization. This is the language of the Subconscious. The subconscious constantly seeks ways to communicate with us, but the logical mind, being logical, analytical and linear, cannot hear it. However, once the logical mind does find a way to communicate with the subconscious - a code, if you will - the subconscious becomes a powerhouse of information. This "code" is the art of visualization.

The logical mind is like a robot or a computer - it cannot have any new thoughts of its own, it only re-hashes previous experiences. It is through the subconscious that we are free to explore, through the vehicle of imagination and "movies of the mind", new thoughts and experiences before they occur. During sleep, visualization is called dreaming, during waking hours, it is called daydreaming. It is difficult to control your dreams, but you can control your daydreams. The ability to direct the "movies of your mind" is confirmed by the proven fact that mortal men and women can direct these daydreams. The ability to properly direct the movies of your mind during a meditative state connects you to your intuition, or Higher Self, enabling you to receive information from a higher source than was previously possible.

Visualization can do the following things:

Take you literally anywhere in time and space, and allow you unlimited access to experience anything that you choose.

Help you to develop inner awareness and control of the body's autonomic functions (Bio-feedback).

Bring to consciousness your true feelings, and help you to gain or clarify the meaning of things that occur in your life.

Give you access to higher wisdom, understanding and truth than you would otherwise be capable of.

Give you access to the true source of your creativity.

Now to the simplest principle of all - the difference between imagination and Shamanic Sight. In our current trend of Western thought, empirical data is the only valid form of evidence. I must be able to experience whatever it is that I'm validating on a physical, tangible, scientific plane. If this is not possible, then it does not exist. Therefore, on the basis of this validation system, imagination has no validity and is relegated to the level of pure fantasy. How many of you as children or even today, have imaginary friends? (Don't worry, I do, too. I call them Spirit Guides) Tell someone outside an Occult setting about your imaginary friend and you might see a few raised eyebrows.

On the other hand, to a Shaman using Shamanic Sight, no empirical validation is required. I experienced it, therefore, it happened exactly as I experienced it. Period, end of subject!

By virtue of the Shaman's intense belief in the things which he saw, experienced, or did while on the journey, the shaman has carried the intent of the journey from the realm of imagination to the act of co-creating a new reality. The Shaman knows that the experiences occurred exactly as he experienced or created it. The ability to know the validity of the experience comes from the empirical reinforcement that every time the shaman sees or acts in the Otherworld, the physical manifestation of that reality within the physical plane bears out the truth of the shaman's belief. The Shaman does not require external validity, he already knows.

There are many very good books available on the subject of visualization. An excellent way to practice visualization is through "Guided Meditation". This is very simple. Find someone who is willing to work with you, or tape record your own guided journey. Then find an appropriate moment when you will not be disturbed, take the phone off the hook, put a "do not disturb" sign on the door, loosen your clothing, take off your shoes, and take the time necessary to go into a light, quiet, restful state. Do not get so comfortable that you fall asleep, and do not do this exercise where you normally sleep, such as on your bed. At your signal, have your assistant begin verbally leading you on an imaginary journey to whatever place and time you choose, mythical or otherwise. Make it as detailed and visually descriptive as you possibly can, and be sure that the pace is slow enough to receive the full effect of the journey. The better you become, the more complete the experience should become, accompanied with sight, sound, smell taste and touch, if possible, but include as many senses as you can. And please, for the sake of more advanced guided visualization later on, include the trip home again before you end the journey.

As you become more adept at visualization, try more difficult trips. For many years, a black-budget covert operation of the U.S. Military was an elite group of men and women engaged in something called,"remote viewing". This is nothing more than a highly trained professional military group using the methods of advanced Shamanic Sight, i.e. visualization, to obtain or confirm otherwise unknowable information. Yes, the U.S. Military does believe in and practice the Occult. During World War Two, Adolf Hitler and high level Nazi psychics and scientist were deeply involved in all aspects of the Occult. Obviously, the power of "Remote Viewing" would be of utmost significance to the military. So here's your challenge. Begin to project your consciousness (remember the Spirit Double we talked about), beyond the bounds of your physical body to places that you know and can access. Using Shamanic Sight, look carefully at these places, noting every detail, anything unusual that might catch your attention. Use your senses to feel the temperature, smell the air, listen for noises present. Carefully note as many details as possible, but especially anything that you want to verify when you return physically. On your return to the physical body, and before you forget, write down anything you found significant while you were there. Now physically go and compare what you saw and experienced with what is actually present. The results might be quite astounding.

Every time you can validate what you saw or experienced during your journeys, the closer you become to totally trusting your abilities. The process of becoming sure of the physical validation of what you experienced or did in the Spirit becomes the basis for activating the Co-Creative Forces of the Universe to accomplish Shamanic work. You no longer question the validity of your Co-Creative Powers - you know!!!

The key to success is practice, practice and more practice. Don't become discouraged if you have some difficulty - it's natural! Just keep at it, and maybe I'll meet you "out there somewhere". It has happened before!

Does An Apprentice Require More Sleep?

I don't know about all of my classmates, but I seem to be requiring much more sleep and rest then normal. Is it all the processing and practice on restructuring my intake and output mechanisms? Is it the reshaping, resizing and polishing of the lense? Is it the finetuning my filtration system? Is it the renovation of my house and the moving process within - moving into the other side as Robin puts it? Is it the daily dance between the soul and the ego? Is it dropping the story to be able to witness and work for others and the community?.......
OK, I'm getting that it is all of the above for me right now.
Thanks for listening.....time to rest.

peace AWR

I have rediscovered my special purpose

For the past months I have been trying to find my “modality” how do I work with people? How do I heal? I must admit that I have been feeling somewhat lacking. I have been trying to get myself to us a card deck for readings, journey for others … mostly with forced success. I can do it but it just has not “felt” like me (I am a feeler. A tactile, put it on and ware it around person).

I spent a good part of the weekend out in the garden and woods and Duh !… this feels right! This is where I get insight! This is where spirit talks to me (more like a T 1 line) I don’t have to try, it just is.

Shapeshifting day by day hour by hour

I heard an interesting study the other day. We are all aware that our faces respond to our body’s emotional state. The muscles in out faces reflect our inner feelings without any conscious or deliberate effort by us.

A group of researchers spent years studying the muscles of the face and mapping the universal human emotional expressions. They then taught themselves to isolate individual mussels and then to then work them in combination with each other to produce these expressions. What they found was that after making an expression of say anger or disgust, they each experienced that same emotional response within their own bodies. The expression works both ways! It can reflect what is happening on the inside AND it can flow backwards, and produce the emotion within.

What this boils down to is that we all have the means to shapeshift our emotional state. It requires that we are aware and some practice :-)

Shamanic openings or how to work with the impossible

March 4 -- Here I was again, anxious, stressed, overwhelmed, paralyzed... All those feelings had become so familiar since my burn out... The job that was supposed to support me financially during my transition -- and just that! -- not only was taking way too much of my time and energy (I so often felt so frustrated for not having enough time to do what I really wanted to do!) but was putting me under so much stress that I could barely function. To be frank, that very day, I was ready to quit; I even started searching on the net if I could find translations to do or any other kind of job that would be less stressful for me.

Then I talked to Robin and she said something like: wait a minute you are functioning as if this reality was not also your shamanic reality, why don't you look at that through your shamanic lens first? You say it is an impossible job you are asked to do, this is exactly what you will have to do as a shaman, you will have to look at the impossible and ask: how do I work with you? what can I do?... And I thought: "touchée". This is my jungle exercise. This is what I am supposed to work with right now.

So, after I talked with Robin, I prepared myself to journey and do something that was supposed to be a shamanic opening in my job situation (as Robin said, I am working on a portal -- a series of websites/online encyclopedias -- so talking about opening was making sense, right?).
I am not sure I had anything specific in mind but I remember clearly going with my baby chick* under my left arm, my emerald stone* under my right arm (in my journeys, I can afford a very big emerald!). I first walked through an undefined substance, big herbs and branches opening on my path and I quickly found myself ascending gradually in a kind of elevator column (but with no elevator there), opening doors on my right side way above my head (that was the weirdest of all: I kept opening doors far away from me, one or two floors ahead, obliging me to keep looking up). It did not sound like a difficult job, it was kind of a nice, pleasant thing to do. But I remember that I felt very determined and was very concentrated on what I was doing. Anyway, when I came back, I was not impressed at all by my performance, just relieved that "something had happened" in that journey and happy that my two new companions had been with me.

Believe it or not, the next two days, things opened up one by one. My whole schedule was revised, with more realistic deadlines, a better organization of the work; and even more unbelievable: everything was approved politically and financially. It is not like I did not do anything: I exposed the situation clearly, propose alternatives including a scenario that might have the best chance to be aproved, but there is no way I could have anticipated that the decisions would be taken so quickly. Last but not least: that same day, I was offered to occupy a very nice office at Georgetown University until the summer; I had not asked for that and this was the most unexpected thing. But the truth is that it also helped diffuse the tensions, allowing me to distinguish better between a work place and my little studio which has to shape shift anyway several times per day!

I was so impressed... !

March 7 -- Now it is not like everything has been solved. Today, I learnt that, for some reason nobody could explain, my salary payment had not been processed and would not be for another week (I told the director that I would not take it personnaly and he joked about the fact that the financial person might have had a bad experience with me in another life because he could not understand why I was the only one who had not been paid!)... As I had received very little in early February because I did not work most of January, I really needed that payment and was already checking my bank account online several times a day (the kind of compulsive behavior that does not look like me and that I hate!). So here I was, with $50 on my bank account and even less in cash to hang on for at least another week... Better: the tenants of my appartment in Paris have not paid the rent yet either (I need that to pay the bills and the mortgage over there). Now, I know that song about money. They have played it for me several times since I have chosen that path (not that I have ever had much money but there have been times with a little bit more sense of financial security!).

March 9 -- So today I decided to journey and ask for openings on that too. I went with my two little companions and asked my friends the trees to support me. As soon as I started journeying I knew it would be different. Instead of starting working on openings myself, I went straight to ask for a meeting with "the guys" (you may call them spirits, God, the assembly of souls...). They had to help me out with that. I no longer wanted to have to deal with that kind of financial issues. I did not need much, just the minimum. And, incidentally, I'd rather have Them doing something for my visa issue too (a green card would not hurt, right? yes, I confess, I even asked for that!). So I plead my cause -- more like: these are my new conditions if you want me to continue on that job. And I remember leaving the meeting, smiling at my two friends --the baby chick and the esmerald stone--, waiting for Them to open the door between the two realities (it was a new door, a beautiful multi-color one, looking like a kaleidoscope; they must have gone under some renovations lately), feeling that I had done the right thing.

I guess that what all of that means is that even the impossible can become possible if I am ready to look at it shamanically, meaning: going through it; opening new doors in the other reality when that sounds impossible in my mundane one; holding and cherishing this mundane reality as much as I cherish the other one, the one I can access in my meditations and journeys and contemplations in the parks and woods, the one that saved me and brought me back to life. If I do my part, They will do their part too.

Hope & Love to you my friends!

-------------------------------
* Those are companions who showed up recently in my life.
The baby chick was brought to me by two fellow apprentices who journeyed for me. After discussing it with Robin, I recognized it as the symbol of the unharmed, innocent and happy part of me. That same day, when I went for groceries, I found by pure chance a baby soft toy that was a very cute little baby chik and I bought it. It now follows me everywhere and is always present in my meditations and journeys.
The story of the emerald stone is a longer one and I am still in the discovery process but it is nice to journey with her.

So, you want to be a shaman...

Not sure who wrote this, but it might explain a few things...what are YOUR experiences so far? We are looking for a post a week per classmate...please contribute to the conversation as a service to all! Robin

So, you want to be a shaman

"It is easy to go down into Hell; night and day, the gates of dark Death stand wide; but to climb back again, to retrace one's steps to the upper air -- there's the rub, the task." -- Virgil, 'Aeneid'

Let's start with the word 'shaman'. Shaman is gender neutral, there are no shamen or shawomen, only shamans, big ones and little ones.

The word itself was taken from the Tungis tribe in Siberia by 19th century anthropologists. The name, which in Tungis means ghost talker, was then applied loosely by other scholars to any indigenous native religious tradition. There is more than a small element of racism in that, but this is what was done.

Shamanism is the oldest form of human spirituality. In a very real sense, it is the grand daddy of them all. Recent discoveries, of new caves in France put actual artwork representing shamanic themes back at thirty seven thousand years ago. Tell this to a shaman and watch the flicker of a small smile play across their lips, because they know it is much, much older. They have existed in every culture, every civilization, since the dawn of man. They have traveled under many names from the High Priests of Isis to the Delphic Oracles, from the Hebrew prophets to Nostradamus. To the Celts they were the File (fee'lyee), the vision poets, to the Scots they were Tailbshear (tah'shar), the vision seers, to the Welsh they were the Awenydd (ah-wen-ith) the inspired ones. They are the walkers between worlds, the bridge between this reality and the unknown. They are, in short, just plain nuts.

Shamanism is not a religion, it is important to understand this, despite what new agers and some faux shamans try to create, it is not a religion, though it is a religious practice. Shamans are tied very intensely to the earth and to creation in general. All shamans are unique; no two are alike even though there are similarities. The shaman of old was the man or woman living at the edge of the village in a mud hut, off to themselves. They were usually shunned by the communities they served, until of course, they needed them. Some things never change.

So how do people become shamans?

I'm glad you asked.

When people ask me seriously how they can become a shaman, I always respond with a simple question: "Why would you want to?" Let me outline what is going to happen to you, if you ignite this spark. You will have no friends; they will shun you because you scare them now; they will tell you that you're insane. You will experience love, at its core - love so intense and so selfless; touching upon it makes you want to die. But, you will never have anyone in your life again to share it with. Your family will become strangers to you. Everything you own will be taken away. You will live, in some sense, in constant pain, alone; you will truly become the wounded healer. People will treat you like a dime-store psychic. Now, your spark is becoming a tiny flame and the bad stuff starts. Visions you can't control; illnesses that are serious yet seem to have no cause or cure. You will become depressed, a depression so deep and dark, you feel as though you are eating your own soul.

Now your tiny flame is growing into a small fire and the real trouble starts -- spatial lapses, missing time, time distortions and things that go bump in the night. Your awareness begins to grow, but what is in that awareness provides no comfort. New creatures will enter your world, not all of them are nice. In fact, some of them will try to kill you, literally. You will feel naked against the full force of ancient energies. Something is driving you at this point, you no longer feel in control of anything. Fear will seize you.

This isn't normal fear, but the kind of fear that steals your breath and stops your heart. People will become transparent wraiths to you. When you see them, it will be in their totality. You will feel their pain, anger and misery. Not in terms of a casual observer, you will live it, in that instant. This is unimaginably horrible. But now you know, somewhere inside, a fire is raging.

Somehow, through all the pain, sweat, blood, misery and tears, you survive (most do not) to see beyond yourself and the world. You're standing toe to toe with death -- your own -- and you suddenly slap it in the face and laugh. What appears next in your vision is one golden moment, one instant in a sea of time. You will risk everything for that one chance to stare into the maw of eternity, to see, to know, because you are burning now with the fire from within. You will leap into that chasm, not wanting to, but because you can do no less. Now you are just a streak across that vastness, one small insignificant part of an immense whole. In the end all you can say with that final desperate act is: "We mattered, we were here". Perhaps you'll come back. Perhaps you won't. But now you can carry the name . . . shaman.

Shamans can be quite the life of the party - it's just a matter of why? They choose their actions; they do not allow them to be chosen for them. All of this comes down to the issue of why, why stalking, why dreaming, why intent and movement? Shamans are using all these things to move their own energy to places that frankly, are crazy. But people in general can use the techniques to help them in their lives. Shamans are both ignorant and amazingly wise.

A shaman is created in any two of the following three ways: they are born to it, they are trained in it as a tradition or they are called to it at some point in their lives. Shamans act from a place that isn't quite the same as other people. If a shaman loves you, he or she comes from a place where love is unselfish, unmotivated, they would love you only because you are you and for no other reason, no expectation, no sense of loss

(I'll look for who wrote this...)