Journeying Amnesia

My inner universe sparkles when I enter altered realities and tap into visions of different worlds inside my head. But one of the challenges I am just beginning to overcome is trying to recall the details of my visions. Sometimes I get swallowed up by the whole experience entirely. Unless I write the points down in my journal immediately after surfacing, I'm often stranded trying to remember what just happened.

I believe this kind of struggle carries over into the waking world. I need notes with me to organize my thoughts like airline pilots need a flight plan before they ascend into the sky. To some extent, memory blocks are somewhat conditioned appropriately. I rarely ever recall memories or stories exactly the way they were first introduced to me; I hone in on the most critical aspects of moments gone by and try to resurrect the past based on my perception of what occurred. I do this with every kind of stimuli--art, meetings, speeches, news reports--cherry-picking the points that speak to me and reinforcing or challenging the stories that dominate my current state.

I realize that I spent a big chunk of my life not being aware of some of the basic things happening to me--I don't know if this changed or started when I began to record my thoughts. When employing a listening or recording device, part of the magic of being in the moment is lost by concentrating on the documentation itself. But the clarity of feeling and thought at each point seems essential to recomposing the story. I am fixated on trying to recall it all and end up building a reliance on the device rather than the spirit chase--the present is lost in favor of a more accurate historical account. The sword of technology cuts both ways.

There may also be unexpected interruptions after I've gone under, where one vision thread gets overlapped with another. This is frustrating and requires concentration. It seems I am a social butterfly in the spirit world with many pre-engagements--it's like my altered state cellphone going off left and right, forcing me to remove the battery.

I have been journeying regularly in recent weeks and have gotten to the point where I can use the beat of my ticking clock to sink into visions. When a space inside calls for attention and its message is finally received and opened, it makes the voluntary journey all the more easier. The awareness of the chakras thanks to the Hands on Healing book is also helping me link the journeys to the different body parts that feel neglected and target areas that have felt blocked.